We talk a lot in ASJA about networking. Some of us have seen life-long friendships grow out of the unique challenges and rewards we discuss with other independent writers. Networking is more than just meeting strangers once a year at a conference. Building a tribe isn’t as simple as that.
I’ve watched many careers get enriched because two writers met up at a conference in New York, or another city, and realized that they’d found a creative soul mate who understands their business model. It’s no accident that our wayward souls find each other as we wander the universe, looking at the world through our unique set of writers’ lens.
I’ve been thinking about how these friendships evolve—some friendships even lay dormant for a few years only to be revived when the time is available to rekindle a connection. But friendships excel, or burn out, in times of stress. You know whom you can count on and whom you can trust. It is through the bonds of friendship that a person’s true character gets revealed.
For me, it’s been a terrifically busy year and a year in which I haven’t been the best of a friend. This ASJA presidency is challenging during a time that the organization has undergone dramatic change and during a year that the free press has been under terrific stress. In fact, I have asked a few of my non-writer friends to please be patient with me.
That said, I am hyper-guilty when it comes to taking my ASJA friends for granted. Not only have I taken many of them for granted, I’ve also asked for extra favors through the year. My writer tribe—those who work on deadlines and follow through on every assignment—are a highly dependable group.
In ASJA, I have been fortunate to work with some truly amazing people. It reminds me that friendships frequently develop before you’re really aware that they exist. Good people do good volunteer work, that’s my bottom line and that’s how I’ve met some excellent writer friends. So, if you’re still searching for your writer tribe, here are some tips to consider.
- Surround yourself with can-do people. There’s nothing like a group of people
that believes anything is possible when you need help—whether its help with a difficult client, assistance with finding more work or in building a committee for an ASJA project. - Give plenty of pats on the back.
I’m not always successful at this, but I believe you can never thank people too many times. Thank a writer colleague for learning from their advice written in this magazine, the tips given out during a conference or suggestions they made over a drink. Then keep the conversation going. - Follow through.
If you say you will do something, either as a volunteer or as a writer friend, then get it done. People will always remember and appreciate how you contributed to their career. - Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Is a volunteer project stalled? Has business trickled off? If so, send out a request for input to three or four of your best colleagues. My guess is that you’ll get busy quick with more input than you can imagine. Writers care about each other. - Create good karma.
By that, I mean stay positive. On any given day, be sure that your compliments to one person outnumber your complaints. Buying someone lunch or coffee creates good karma, too. - Don’t be afraid to disagree.
Understand that being a part of a friendship or an organization (or a marriage) requires negotiation. It’s important in ASJA, as it is in friendships, that not everyone agrees all the time. Instead of only stating your own opinion, ask questions that help you understand an opposing viewpoint. This type of civil disagreement requires us to talk longer and try to better understand each other. The bond of friendship deepens, and an organization is strengthened, when we take this time to learn more about each other.