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January 2007 From the President's Desk: Leaving "Home"

by Jack El-Hai

Our organization retains its members at a very high rate from one year to the next, a sign of the value we place in the benefits of our ASJA affiliation. Even so, every few months somebody decides to resign, usually because of retirement or a switch to a new career. Occasionally, members name some other reason for their departure. I want to tell you about one longtime member's recent resignation, which still troubles me and reveals quite a bit about the culture of ASJA.

To preserve privacy, I'll describe this member's resignation in broad strokes only; the details are unimportant. The member had known an ASJA colleague for many years. The two had a personal dispute that grew fierce. The member received from the other an insulting message -- one that made the member feel humiliated. (None of these events took place on our online Forum.) Several of us tried to intervene, but the member felt deeply injured and decided to resign. At first, this member's response to the problem genuinely puzzled me. Presumably the member valued being an ASJA member. If another member harms you, why cause yourself further harm by giving up ASJA and all that it benefits you?

And then, very slowly, I began to understand what the incident meant to the member.

ASJA members enjoy many tangible benefits -- conferences, newsletters, Personal Pitch meetings with editors and agents, various discounts, contract help, awards and so on -- but I bet that most of us renew our memberships each year mostly because of the intangibles. We make friends in ASJA. In our informal conversations, in person and online, we gain wisdom, advice and inspiration. We feel welcomed into a group of people following a career path similar to our own, an organization that looks out for our collective interests. Although our membership now stands at 1,200-plus-the highest total in recent memory, that's not an overwhelming number of people. The high school I attended had nearly three times as many. Come to think of it, the intangibles I'm describing are a lot like the things that come from a good stretch of schooling: friendship, acceptance, shared insight and a sense of belonging.

We think of ASJA as our organization, as a professional home. I have been a member of many other writers' organizations over the years, but only in ASJA have I found so many members who take a possessive pride in the group. That accounts for our high rate of volunteerism. It's also a reason why passions often run high on our online Forum. "You can say what you will on the street, in the media or in the halls of government," members seem to believe, "but if you say that here, in my sheltering home, I'm going to take it personally and voice my objections in the strongest terms."

So the member who resigned because of the slight from a fellow ASJA member no longer took pleasure in our collective home. The home itself bears painful memories because another resident has done the damage. A similar insult from someone not a member of ASJA might not feel so bad.

This past summer, a family in my neighborhood suffered a horrible tragedy. The family was driving home from a vacation in separate cars. One of the cars, containing the father and a child, was hit broadside by another vehicle, and the father and daughter died. The mother and another child witnessed the accident from the other auto. Now the mother and the surviving child do not want to continue living in their house, a lovely hundred-year-old Victorian. The memories are too strong, and there's no joy in spending time there.

That, I believe, is exactly how our resigning member felt. The member could not feel the same about ASJA again.

I learned two lessons from this member's experience. First, not to let your passions carry you into discourtesy when dealing with your ASJA colleagues, lest you make our home inhospitable to your victim and others. Just as important, though, is the second lesson: To make full use of the unusual opportunities ASJA offers. Attend the annual conference and connect with your peers. Take pride in the astounding talents our organization harbors. Share your wisdom.

Jack El-Hai of Minneapolis, Minnesota, is president of ASJA. E-mail the president through www.asja.org/contact.php.