Writing Life
Writers' Groups on the Couch

by Carol W. Berman, M.D.

You're on the tenth revision of your article. You stayed up until 3 a.m. perfecting it. So why do you have a queasy feeling in your stomach, when you think of your writing group at 3 p.m.? You used to look forward to meeting with your five writing buddies. Lately though, it hasn't been much fun. You dropped out of your last group when you were humiliated. What's going on? Group psychodynamics at work. That's the one thing that writing groups don't discuss, but psychotherapy groups do. I'm a writer and psychiatrist. I've been in five different writing groups, watching them fight, "kiss and make up" and disintegrate. I want to sit forward and explain to the group why they react the way they do. The few times I did, the writers stared at me like I was speaking a totally unknown language. Basically, groups, like atomic particles, have three forces working on them:
Repulsive forces, Attractive forces, Dissolution forces.

The three forces occur on an unconscious level of which most members usually are unaware. Repulsive forces are fighting and hostility.

Any group includes individuals who feel aggression and hostility toward each other that can't be expressed. Most people are angry when their cherished work, their "baby," is criticized even in the most polite and respectful manner. It's hard for the writer to separate from his/her work, so it feels like a personal attack. Of course, we need the feedback for the writing process, but what happens to the hurt feelings, the anger and the fear, that result? Most writers suppress these feelings so they can benefit from group feedback. These unexpressed feelings smolder in the unconscious. But the overt actions could be:

Scapegoating: We all gang up on one person to sneer and criticize everything about the work. If you're the scapegoat in the group, you might have these characteristics:

• You're different from everyone in some way (perhaps in terms of ethnicity, race, gender, religion or socio-economics). Yes, political correctness evaporates once group dynamics are activated! If you usually were the kid everyone beat up in school, you might get the same treatment in writers' group. In a psychotherapy group, the therapist would stop everyone and interpret your peers' jealousy or other feelings, but without a therapist, the scapegoating continues.

• You've been too negative or too positive. The members now have their chance to attack, and they will, whether your work is good or bad. Every time a person deviates from the group norm, he/she is exposed to aggression. You must consciously resist this revenge tactic yourself when you are critiquing someone's work. Understand that it's a normal reaction, but try to fairly evaluate without reacting to what the group did to you. Don't evaluate the person. Evaluate the work.

Overpraising: This reaction is the opposite of scapegoating, but just as dangerous to group cohesion. Sometimes people get kudos for bad work, because everyone "decides" the person needs it. Again, it's an unconscious group process, but it's like The Emperor's New Clothes. The group says the emperor is wearing a wonderful new robe when he's actually naked. It takes a child or someone outside the group to recognize the truth and speak it. You can be over-praised for the same two reasons you were scapegoated:

• You're different.

• You've been too negative or too positive with others. Again, deviating from the norm will trigger these automatic reactions. The solution is to be alert to these possibilities and resolve to be truthful about the work you're critiquing. Overpraising is lying and eventually will destroy the group, which needs to be founded on truth.

The attractive forces can be characterized as distracted talking. This is when the group talks about everything but writing and people's work. You've heard it when two members insist on discussing baseball or their dogs during group time. You may try to interrupt and direct your fellow writers back to the work at hand, but they resist and continue to gossip about Lucy's dog. People bond in this way or "kiss and make up." After all that hostility and aggression, they need some positive time to just rap about nonsense and to be accepted. A little distracted talking is not destructive, but it can lead to group disintegration if it goes on too long and excludes others.

Dissolution Forces: The worst outcome for any group is dissolution, which can be the result of unresolved fighting and hostility or distracted talking. If groups can't resolve these issues, they dissolve. I've been in three groups that disbanded because of such unanalyzed forces. If a writing group has a leader who is aware of these dynamics, the group can stay together. Or in a leaderless, peer-run group, individual members can try to be aware of the unconscious impulses operating on each member.

When I asked for feedback from my writers' group about this article, they wondered about forces leading to equilibrium. Equilibrium not only is difficult to achieve, but can be boring if it occurs. A group is like a living cell, which dies if it is in total equilibrium with its environment. Repulsive, attractive and dissolution forces may be difficult, but they keep us engaged and alive.

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Dr. Carol W. Berman is a writer and psychiatrist in private practice in New York City. Her book, 100 Questions & Answers About Panic Disorder, helps patients understand how to conquer panic attacks. More at carolwberman.com