Adventures of a Pen-Pushing Parent
A new column by Melanie Lasoff Levs

Like many of you, I'm doing the best I can at a few different jobs, only one of which I get paid for in actual money. That paying gig is as a writer, which I have been my entire life. When I was four years old, I told my mother I wanted to be an "arthur." I have never swayed from that declaration. Writing—and freelancing, which I've been doing full-time since January 2004— is in my blood.

The "jobs" I've had for a lot less time, the ones that don't pay me in paper and have taken a bit more effort, are those of wife and mother. Thankfully, though marriage takes work, my husband of almost eight years can care for himself (for the most part). Our son Ryan, however, has a bit of trouble with that, seeing as he's not even been on this earth two years. So when I'm not at the computer during the day, I'm chasing him (literally), wiping clean his various orifices or trying to make sure he eats actual food rather than dust and other things he finds interesting on the floor. I'm also gleefully singing the alphabet song, playing ring around the Rosie, reading the same seven books over and over, and giggling at his brilliant antics.

I couldn't be happier with any of my jobs. But that doesn't mean I couldn't do any of them better.

The words "balance" and "juggle" have been used far too often in discussions of combining family and work. I don't think I either balance or juggle. Each of my titles—writer, wife, mother, as well as daughter, granddaughter, aunt, friend, etc.—is part of my identity, not something I do. They are what I live.

So how can we live our most important roles better? That is what I will explore in this column. With the help of other ASJA members and experts, I will offer tips, suggestions and insights on being a writer and a parent with kids at home, whether you have babies, toddlers, school-aged children or angst-filled teens. I'll gather stories both humorous and poignant to illustrate how many of us struggle with the same issues: day-to-day ones such as how we make that quick turnaround deadline and still make it to Junior's band recital at 2 p.m., what we do when Sleeping Baby wakes wailing while we're on the phone, and bigger-picture questions like how much of our children's lives we can use as fodder for stories, and how we reconcile a burst of creative energy with our child's need for attention. We may even visit the idea of multiple writers for this column, as each of us parents has a different situation and a unique take on combining our livelihoods with our little ones.

So what's my take? I think it varies day to day depending on what I'm doing. Establishing a routine helps me keep my sanity. Currently, I am working in an actual office two-and-a-half days per week as a contributing editor at a consumer health magazine. I get to be around grown-ups and delve into topics in which I have great interest. Ryan goes to daycare part-time and spends a day with his daddy, who works on weekends. The rest of the week, I'm in full-on "mommy mode" and even manage to do a couple of loads of laundry and empty the dishwasher. I laughed out loud at a new book title I recently read, Naptime is the New Happy Hour, because in my house, naptime is the new writing hour (or, if I'm lucky, writing two-hour). Most evenings, unless I have a deadline, my husband and I zone out on the couch. At the end of the day, if my son is still alive and the computer still works, I've accomplished something. As long as those two things stay constant, I'm happy. When you're busy every minute, you have to think simply—or stress over what you can't control.

It's taken me some time to come to terms with my new existence. But I know having a child has made my life, and therefore my writing, richer and more meaningful. Talking to and reading about other "writer-parents" has become a source of great joy and support for me. Whenever I feel I can't do anything well, whether it be complete a sentence on paper or get a toddler to sit still so I can put his shoes on, I know I'm not the only one facing difficulties. After all, there are similarities between being a writer and being a parent. And if you're lucky, you'll never stop doing either. So though I only get paid for one of my careers, I would consider the journey I am taking to be … priceless.

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Atlanta-based freelance writer Melanie Lasoff Levs has written for publications including The Washington Post, Newsweek, Women's Wear Daily and Atlanta magazine.